The Spector of Mental and Invisible Illness

I have hidden mental and invisible illnesses for a long time in my life, for so long that I cant really remember when it all started. Currently, I find it very difficult to talk to other people by word of mouth, go anywhere other than places that are imperative to me getting better (mixing socially). Yet, I can think about I want to say and write it down, hence the reason for this new blog. Maybe a little self therapy, or reflective time and or personal me time - who knows?

You all know the Tracy who loves early years education, supporting young people, those who work in the sector, my passion for children with additional needs and creating challenging learning environments for young people who really are struggling with their emotions, learning, unwanted behaviours. You also know the Tracy that loves the Royal Air Force, Air Cadets and all the things military. You all know the Tracy that can not sit still, is always doing something, studying, walking, crocheting, helping others, working on our house, my love of nature and as one of my friends terms it my "zoo".  Others know me as the mad cat lady or the person with two loopy spaniels or the tortoise lady or even that weird lady who goes round pick weeds with her basket. You all know I am very proud of my children, their achievements and quirkiness that they give to our world, my husband - my everything! Others know me as their friend, the one they have laughed, cried, drunk, eaten and got in trouble with.

But what you don't know is there is another Tracy and she has someone living in her head and her name is 'Me'.  Me stops me doing things because she niggles Tracy and makes Tracy think that she is stupid, lazy, a waste of time, moronic, thick, impulsive, petulant, emotional, vitriolic. I could list so many derogatory words here. 

You also do not know the Tracy who battles daily with sore joints, hips, lower back, shoulders, neck, elbows and wrists painful muscles that surround those joints. I get sore throats, colds and chest infections that leave me fatigued, before the next bout hits. 

Why do we hide these illnesses; are they a sign of weakness or its just one of those things that everyone gets from time to time, like chicken pox - you will be fine in a couple of days when the spots come out and dwindle away?

The way people deal with you when you are unwell makes the day better or worse. They become to
know its normal for you to be affected in the above ways and either accept you for you or walk away.

I battle daily with depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, ptsd, bile salt malabsorption disorder and chronic fatigue - The battle I have had is to appear well!!!

If it wasn't for my husband, children and their partners, zoo, the coven (lol), close friends I would not be here because some days are the worst and others just about okay.

I am going to blog as and when I need to - why? as I said at the beginning self help, therapy, reflective time but most importantly to raise awareness - these conditions can affect anyone - take time to care for people!




http://www.mind.org.uk/

http://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/arthritis-information/conditions/fibromyalgia.aspx

http://www.bile.org.uk/

http://www.mind.org.uk/